Tuesday, January 22, 2013

From The Inside/A Baby's Story


It was a whisper at first, soft and soothing.
It was beautiful.
I knew it was the sound of love.


When I heard her laughter.
It tickled, and I rolled and tumbled
with joy.

I know, I'm not supposed to know much.
But, I do.
Even before I was formed, Almighty knew me.
He has plans for me.
I can't wait!

Sometimes I hear a voice that makes her cry.
It makes me sad.
I wish there was something I could do to tell her
I love her.
I feel so bad when she cries.

She was somewhere today.
Voices were low, but firm.
She doesn't know I can hear them, but I can.
"Tissue...."
"Nothing..."
"Your choice...."
When the voices said, "It's your life, not a big deal, It'll be over in no time. "
I perked up.
Maybe the voice that made her cry will go away.
Then, I heard her say, "But, it's a baby. I know it is. How can I kill my baby?"
The voices piped in, laughing. "You've been deceived. There is no baby. It's just a mass of tissue.
No one will ever know. You'll walk out of here free to go on with your life." "The father won't support you, you said. How will you raise a child alone?" "You're young, successful. You don't need this burden right now."

I sank back the best I could.
Who would say such things to her?

She started crying. She had never cried so hard.
Then, I felt her hand on her tummy. How do I know a hand? I just do. I'm smarter than I look.
The pressure was so reassuring, so comforting to me.
I hated when she cried.
I just wanted her to be happy.
I wanted to make her happy, to see her smile, to be able to touch her, and see her face to face.

"What are you going to do?" The vocies sounded irritated. "We need to know." "We care about you. We're not trying to pressure you, but you do need to decide." "It's a simple procedure, Sweetie."

How could someone call her sweetie and make her cry?

"I don't know," she said through her tears. "I need time."

"Ok. You can come back anytime." The voices said.

"Any time? Won't it be too late, later?" She sobbed.

"Oh no. We can remove the tissue clear into the last trimester." "Any time is fine. You think about it, and come back."

Eventually, she stopped crying.
I fell asleep...till  I felt her hand again.

This time there were familiar angry voices.
"What will people think?"
"It will ruin us."

"It's my life," she said, still rubbing her tummy.
"It's my choice. That's what they said.
I won't kill my baby."

"How many times do I have to tell you? It's NOT a baby!"

"I know that's what everybody is telling me. But, something inside is telling me it's wrong.
That's all I know."

"Then, I'll disown you," one voice said.
"Then, it's over, don't expect anything from me," another voice said.

Silence.
"Then, I guess you can walk away." She wasn't crying any more.

A different voice visited with her later.
"You have the right, you know. It is your body."

"I know," she said. "But having the right doesn't make it right."

Later, I felt her hand on her tummy.
"Hey Baby, I don't know if you can hear me," She said. "You and I are going to be all right.
I love you. I'm going to take care of you."

I sighed. I don't know if she felt it, but I was so glad to hear her voice, and to know she loved me,
I did somersaults, and backflips, kicking my feet as high as I could.

Then, I heard her laugh.
"I felt a kick! I did. My baby kicked!"

I'm so glad she's happy.
I can't wait to see her face.


Thursday, January 17, 2013

To Lori/Cloud Baskets Will Carry Us



One of God's miracles for moms is His grace.
It has to be, otherwise how would we cope?

We carry little bundles of life for nine months,
and get to know them before the world ever sees them.
We are so overcome with love for them -
our lives change forever.
Life is not about us anymore.

It's no wonder when it's time for them to leave our nest, we struggle.
Our nature has been to care for, nurture, and be an integral part of their lives.
It seems unnatural, yet we know it's the way it's supposed to be.

I remember when each of my five got ready to leave, I had a hard time.
I knew life would change once again.
One time a person said to me, "Well, it's not so hard for you - you still have more at home."
Each one was hard because each child is a unique, individual miracle.

The hardest was when my son enlisted in the military during wartime.
I didn't know how moms coped with that.
It was way beyond me.
I couldn't be there for him, see, or talk to him.
He couldn't come home on weekends, or holdidyas, or anytime he wanted.
Whack - the mom heartstring was ripped, severed, shredded, just like that.

God did some awesome things before he left, but I'll leave that for another time.
I left him at the airport with his recruiter and a line of other recruits, and cried all the way home.
I told God I didn't know how I was going to do it.
It was like my heart had been ripped apart.

As I drove, there was a moment when sudden peace came over me.
It was like a big cloud surrounded me....
God assured me He would carry me through.
And He did.
A day at a time.

A sweet lady I know is sending her son off to college after spending the last six months caring and praying for his recovery from a bad accident.
Reading her post brought me to tears.
It is hard to let go.


I thought I'd given my children to God.
And I had.
But, the deeper giving came
when it was so hard not to worry......
when they're away from home, and you can't be there for them.

We can lean on God, and know that there is no distance between Him,
our children, and our prayers.
Whether they are close to home or half way around the world,
we can have comfort in knowing where they are, He is.

For us moms.
His grace is as big as we need it to be,
right when we need it.

To this sweet lady ~
I know this is not an easy time for you, because of all you've been through.
Isaiah 41:10 ~ Don't be afraid, for I am with you.
Don't be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.

For her and her son ~
Jeremiah 29:11 ~"I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord.
They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."


Our love and prayers for both of you.