2013.
2014.
In my heart time continues to stand still.
Time passes on the pages of the calendar, yes.
But, where do the days go?
Christmas.
The celebration of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
A quiet, sweet, and peaceful time.
Lights shone from our Christmas tree.
We opened gifts.
Read the Christmas story.
Missing, yet
feeling close to Caleb-
knowing Christmas is everyday in heaven.
Silent Night.
The song I heard over and over, wherever I went during the season.
God's message to my heart.
New Year's Eve.
Shopping that crazy, busy evening before the grocery store closed.
"Happy New Year."
I smiled.
What do they mean by happy new year?
Happy?
How different my life is now.
I didn't fit in that world of celebration.
Alone in a world full of people.
A few weeks ago
I was not feeling well.
It was a difficult time, but it past.
I rested - much needed rest, after a year of such difficult decisions and heartbreak.
It is in those times God is free to speak.
Only He didn't say much.
It was a silent time.
Sometimes there were tears, as I missed my son.
God was my comfort.
In silence.
Recently, I said good bye for now to another friend.
Heaven bound.
Glory for him.
Tough for us still here.
A dear friend posted this at just the right time -
"Never try to help God fulfill His word. Abram went through thirteen years of silence, but in those years all of his self-sufficiency was destroyed. He grew past the point of relying on his own common sense. Those years of silence were a time of discipline, not a period of God’s displeasure. There is never any need to pretend that your life is filled with joy and confidence; just wait upon God and be grounded in Him."
--Oswald Chambers
He has spoken to my heart.
"Be still and know that I am God."
Ok.
I've gained precious
nuggets from God's Word -
Abram/Abraham and his testing times - Ah, God's faithfulness.
Solomon. To everything there is a season. Fear God - trust him above all in this temporary life.
Job. God is bigger. How can I question God who created everything with just his Word? - Lean on the God who is more than enough. Ah, our God who restores.
I have nothing in myself.
I have no self-sufficiency.
I have no wisdom on my own.
I can't answer the hard questions of life.
I am broken before him.
Yet, I trust him.
He has carried me through the difficulties of life.
I can't pretend.
My face always gives my heart away.
My life is filled with only confidence in the One I serve.
In silence I wait.
I am alone, but I'm not.
I am broken.
But he is the one who makes me whole.
I don't know much.
But I serve the One who knows all.
Selah.
(Alone Yet Not Alone sung by Joni Eareckson Tada)
