The short end of life....

Being transparent in this bubble of life...
Sometimes life hurts. Sometimes I don't understand and don't have answers.

I know life happens and so does death. Personally, I don't like death. It stinks.

A few weeks ago we had a sick calf. I stood over him while the vet gave him a shot. I petted him and told him it was going to be ok. I prayed for him (yes, I pray for animals). A few days later my husband told me the calf died. I wanted to cry.

A few days ago my husband called to tell me a friend of ours died. No warning..he was driving his tractor, had a heart attack and died. He was not old.
We visited him a few weeks ago. He laughed and told us about his plans as we walked through corrals. He was an entrepreneur and always had some new idea brewing. He enjoyed life.
I don't like death. It shouldn't have come and taken his life.

There are people who want to die...they are alone and just want to leave this ol' world. There are people who want to live and see their kids grow up...who aren't ready to die...not yet.
My kids and I have talked about such situations -why do some people linger.. maybe they aren't ready to meet their Maker...we don't know. Why do the young die? We don't know. Sometimes we can speculate...but to really know... I don't think so.

When Lazarus died, his sisters cried out to Jesus. "If you would've been here, our brother wouldn't have died." Jesus told them, "He will rise again." They cried anyway. "We know that someday we will see him. But, we want him alive, now!"
Of course, in that story, Lazarus was raised from the dead.

I believe people can be raised from the dead. Smith Wigglesworth prayed for the dead and they came back to life.  It happens.

Death wasn't on God's mind for us in the beginning...it is one of the results of sin. However, Jesus overcame death and the grave when He went to the cross and rose again.

There is living to be done. I don't like it when death comes and cuts it short. I just don't. Twenty, thirty,forty, fifty, sixty years old - all too young in my opinion.

Today is difficult. It just is. I know my God reigns. I know there will come a day with no more tears... no more pain...no more good byes. We will see Jesus. He will wipe away every tear.

There will be no more death.

However, as difficult as it is now, I know there is hope...even in death. Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life: he that believes in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosoever lives and believes in me shall never die." 

And the wind bloweth

Aaahhh, what a peaceful, easy feeling! Birds are singing. The air is fresh and it is still, still, still. The scene would be complete if Glenda the Good Witch of the North would appear and munchkins would walk out from under the bushes, singing, "We represent the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild..we wish to welcome you to Munchkin Land".

I must be somewhere other than home. I should call Auntie Em. She could tell me it was just a dream.

The wind blew nonstop for at least forever, probably two or three days...or was it more. It wasn't just wind, it was ferocious. Anything not nailed down, flew away.

 Our neighbor's fence lies helpless, in their neighbor's yard. A farmer on facebook said, "I found a plastic water tank, some feed buckets, a feed trough without a frame. 'Gotta hide that stuff before the nieghbors start looking for it..' (location: nowhere near here...). The wind is why my friend cut her long locks to a carefree two inches. It is the reason I don't  grow tomatoes upside down, hanging in a cute topsy-turvy bag on my patio.

Yesterday, the wind blew from this Colorado town, next to the Kansas border, to Parker Colorado. I fought to stay on the highway. It would have been easier to be carried away like Dorothy and Toto- in the air - in my home.
I was hoping the wind would die down when it was time to drive back to the Kansas border. It did - in Denver. The closer I got to home, the harder the wind blew.  The closer I got, the more weather alerts I heard - 'tornadoes, high winds, rain, hail.'  It was a challenge driving against the wind, trying not to be sucked in by semi trailer trucks.

 I pulled in my driveway, forced my way out of my vehicle, and into my home. Disheveled, and exhausted, I sighed. There really is no place like home. The wind blew, the rain and hail came...but I was safe. My husband was home and like Dorothy, I wanted to say, "This is my room and you're here and I'm not gonna leave here, ever, ever again!"

I used to wonder, why the wind blew. Ok...there are countless articles on wind energy. There are wind generators, wind turbines, windmills. I know, sailboats,and windsurfers need wind. The wind reduces smog, and helps with pollination..it's an invisible thermostat for our planet. Good....I love a cool breeze on a summer evening.

Sometimes, the wind over-does it. It is pretty inconsiderate.  It can be annoying and such a nuisance...like, "I'm going to make sure you know I'm here. I'm not leaving and there's nothing you can do about it..."

When we got married, my husband told me he would love me as long as the wind blows and the grass grows.
I'm glad he loves me.
When the wind blows, like it does., I'm reminded of his promise.
I know I'm set for a lifetime of his love.

I saw Him. The man they call Jesus the Christ rode into town on a donkey. My neighbors placed palm leaves on the streets. A royal welcome for the King. They were most excited.
"Reuben! Come join us!" I chose to watch them from my home.

I am a sceptic. I don't believe any of the stuff they say about the Christ. They say He is going to save us. They insist He is the Messiah we have been waiting for. He is going to deliver us from the rule of the Romans.  I have seen too much in my lifetime to think that one man is going to be able to free us. This Christ is not a trained military general. He isn't royalty. He is Joseph, the carpenter's son. I know of His family. He is not the Messiah.

Anyway, that is what I thought until yesterday. My friend Simeon and I were minding our own business, trying to ignore the crowd on our way to the marketplace. As far as we knew, the people were still celebrating their 'king'.  Then, we noticed, blood-curdling cries and jeers. There were so many people, we didn't know what was going on so we pressed in to get a closer view.

What I saw, made me cringe. Simeon and I looked at each other and turned to leave the craziness, when a guard grabbed Simeon.

I stumbled after my friend who was commanded to help a bloody pulp carry a cross. What could this man have done to deserve such a beating, I wondered. I had never seen anything like it. Crucifixions are common for criminals. Beatings are too. But, there was no resemblance of a human being left in this man. As I ran alongside Simeon, I heard the crowd...'crucify him', 'hey Jesus, where's your power now'. I realized...this was the same man, they were hailing their Messiah the day before. What had he done in twenty four hours that was so horrible?

I was sicknened by the sight and couldn't imagine how this Christ could still be alive. He was struggling for every breath, but He followed while Simeon carried the weight . What kind of people was I surrounded by. I was appalled by the spitting and cursing. I knew these were religious people and I had never heard such hate. I didn't care if this Jesus was a messiah or not, our worst criminals were treated with more respect.

We came to Golgatha. I witnessed huge spikes pounded through his wrists and feet. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't help myself. I watched as they lifted the  cross and pounded it into the ground.
I hadn't noticed Simeon, but he was standing next to me, his face in his hands. He trembled as he whispered, "He is the Messiah..He is the Messiah.."
My head spun as I stared at the bloody flesh hanging on the cross. The Messiah? Jesus the Christ was our Messiah...hanging out die?

I felt nauseous. Everything grew faint. Although, there was a crowd surrounding me, I was alone at the cross...just me and Jesus the Christ. My heart ached for Him.

Then Jesus spoke. It was a whisper, but it seemed to ring through eternity. "It is finished."

Immediately the sky turned black...the earth started to rumble. Simeon was sobbing,  "He is the Messiah.."
We couldn't move. People were running and screaming. Jeers turned to fear.  But, Simeon and I were there when his family and friends carried His body away.

Later that evening, Simeon told me that Jesus had talked to him.  "He spoke to me about my life and how much He loved me. He looked at me. He could see right through me.." Simeon my big, tough friend, sobbed again. "I know He is the Messiah."

I was so stunned by the whole day, I couldn't sleep. I thought about the blood along the road, about the Christ. I thought about what I learned at Synagogue...'He was despised and rejected - a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief. We turned our backs on him and looked the other way. He was despised and we did not care....He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth. ..He had done no wrong..But he was buried like a criminal'.

I finally slept. I dreamed Jesus the Christ spoke to me. 'For you. I died for you.' He wasn't on the cross. He was alive, but I could see the scars all over His body.

Today I still hear echoes of His voice in the silence. "It is finished."
I feel an expectancy in the air...something is happening. I have a feeling, Jesus the Christ isn't finished. I  know that I know,He is mightier than the cross He was nailed to...greater than the grave He was placed in. . . Somehow, I know...He is Messiah. God made flesh. Anything is possible with Him....anything...

Yes, you!

I have called you.

For such a time as this.
There is no mistake.
I knew all along.
I called you by name.
I came, I gave, all with you in mind.
You were on my mind.
You were planted in my heart.
You have been there since forever.
In the beginning of time, I knew you.
Never will there be another like you.
No one else can fill your shoes.
No one else can be what I have made you to be.

It's ok.
It's all ok.
You're with Me.
I'm with you everywhere you go.
I never let go.
I never give up.
I never, never, never, forget you.
No never.

I see you now.
I love you more than you know.
My hands outstretched.
My heart is yours.
My life, I gave for you.
Yes, just you.

You have purpose.
I call you to come
Come, go with Me.
Everyday...all day...

You are equipped.
I am with you.
I lead.
I guide.
Yes.
For such a time as this.

Monsters!

There are monsters.
 Sometimes they hide in the closet..or under the bed. Sometimes they don't even hide - those blatant, rude,  intruders. Sometimes it's right in the middle of the day, with no one in sight, and their voices interrupt my thoughts and peace of mind...trying to scare me witless.

'The nerve! Just when I am brave and nothing can scare me.... "Boo," just like that. As old (or young) as I am, I would think the days of scary monsters would be over....but, no.
They don't seem to want to give up. They seem to have all this time on their hands to investigate and delve into my secrets. For example,
I'm lying in bed...just getting ready to go to sleep and all of a sudden one of these monsters climbs up on my bed and whispers something. It may be just one little thing...then I can't sleep. Sometimes, I'm driving - usually in the city, and monsters climb in the back seat with their crude remarks about my ability to drive.

There was the day I was supposed to give a presentation in front of a relativeley small audience.Now, I've been speaking in front of people for a long time. The night before my speech, I went to bed and tried to sleep. This monster rose up on my bed. "What are you going to say?" "It's going to be horrible and everybody's going laugh." "You can't speak in front of people...you're going to freeze and make stupid sounds."(Note: not even words...he said, I would be a babbling idiot).

I could be singing along, baking cookies or taking a walk. All of a sudden they sneak up on me and whisper stupid stuff....stuff that hasn't happened - 'but it could'.

 I used to sit and cry. I used to pull the covers over my head and wish them away. Those monsters used to torment me till I could do nothing right. I couldn't even look in the mirror without their taunting.

Yeah, there are still monsters.

BUT!
I have One over on them. 'Stupid monsters. Sure, they still try to trip me up. Like I said, they don't give up. Sometimes, they try really hard and I stumble...look over my shoulder; or have to stop and catch my breath, while chills run up my spine.

Sometimes, I'm not as quick as I should be, but I'm so much better than I used to be. I had some "Dealing with Monsters" training. 

First, I got to know the Master Monster Terminator. I spend time with Him and have learned some pretty amazing things. Since I know Him, I can remind the monsters that Master Monster Terminator has their numbers - (He smashed the main monster years ago) and they turn and run. Master Monster Terminator has trained me with His Master Terminator weapons - and if I use the weapons when the monsters come around, they have to flee!

Sure, there are monsters....and they don't give up. But, they are pretty stupid to mess with Master Monster Terminator and His followers.


  The Bible says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers and rulers and spiritual wickedness in high places. We must put on the whole armor of God...pray always and watch, diligently. Jesus took the keys from death and darkness. He gave us the victory!

Say Yes!

What would happen if we said 'yes' to everything God wanted us to do?

Recently, I attended a webinar hosted by Bill Myers. He is an author who didn't want to write. He said his worst grades were in Writing where he had Cs and Ds. He prayed and told God he could do anything but write.   But, he also told God he would always say 'yes' to anything He wanted him to do. God knew the hidden talent Bill had. He has now sold over five million books and is a film director and producer. He influenced Christian film with his animated, 'McGee and Me Adventures'.

I came away from the webinar thinking about my life. I said 'yes' to God years ago. I also told Him I would do whatever He wanted me to do. My life is so small, in my eyes...no where near Bill Myers. Yet, I know...we are all important in the puzzle of life.

What God wants me to do, doesn't always match what I think I should be doing. Sometimes He wants me to go places I wouldn't choose to go! Sometimes He calls me to step out into unknown territory. That's the adventure of a Christian life. We walk by faith and not by sight.

I remember a time God spoke to my heart and told me to pray for someone, who was famous in Christian ministry - in person! Ha! I thought. How was that going to happen? How was I going to pray in person with him. But, it happened. I was at his concert and God made a way for me to go backstage...we met and I prayed for him. Later, I found out, he was struggling with depression. God made the way and gave me the boldness I needed.

Sometimes, the doors WE want opened, aren't the ones He has in mind. I have heard myself say, "I could do this or this God...but not that or that..." I've learned never to say never. In my young mind I was going to live the city life! I live in rural America. He has a purpose and a plan. I have lived here for twenty years - married an attorney turned rancher...'looks like 'rural' is where I'll be!

Writing is another idea He has. I thought I would teach/be in the classroom forever.  But, whatever He has in mind for my writing; it is what He has called me to do at this time in my life. I love it. I know it is what I am to do.

If He calls us to do something, He gives us the desire. I have this driving force to write - like Stephen King says (that is where similarities end). Jerry Jenkins says it, too. "You write, because you just have to." I have always enjoyed writing and have written ever since I can remember- just for me - journals, stories.  Now it is what I do....for Him. It is humbling. I must get before my Father everyday and say, even though there is this driving desire to write -  'give me the words, Lord'.  Writing is my desire. The Word of God says He will give us the desires of our heart. As our hearts tune in with His heart...our desires become His. It is a great place to be. Is it easy? Only in Him and because of Him. Would I have it any other way? No. There is peace and joy being in His will. There is no other way.

Adam and Eve and Tiger Woods

Yes, Tiger Woods.  Adam and Eve were sorry, too. They wished they hadn't eaten of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. They thought they didn't need to listen to God. They thought they were above that.  They were so big in their own eyes that they thought they knew better. When the  serpent told them, 'Nothing will happen to you,' they bought it. Just like Tiger. He  was 'big in his own eyes and thought nothing could touch him.

When God came calling, Adam and Eve hid...but, He knew where they were. Then, they were sorry. Tiger was found out - then, he was sorry, too.

 It doesn't matter that he is a celebrity.  Sin (yes, that word) has a way of finding us out.  Is Tiger's 'cheetah' image a private matter? Well, yes and no. What Tiger and his family do in their private lives, is their decision. But, like it or not, he is a public figure - a great athlete - a role model (did I say that?!). Yet, he is a human being, just like the rest of us. His 'sin' found him out. The only difference between him and the rest of us is that his 'world' reaches a wider audience
.
Tiger is the man of the hour,today. Some of us have been that 'man of the hour' at some time in our lives. In our own lives...in our world...there have been scandals and maybe we've even been the object. 'No fun.

Satan is a master at what he does. He lures and makes his way sound so appealing. He says he loves us. He tells us we are really something (a little like, uh, narcissism).  He says he'll take care of us and who will ever find out, anyway. If we listen and go against our better judgment, taking the bait, he accuses and turns on us. He laughs and taunts saying we're stupid for listening to him! Then, he whispers more lies on how horrible we are.

The mistake Adam and Eve made by listening to satan, cost them dearly. Their decision affected their family. It affected mankind and still does today. Consequences, I believe is the word. Tiger wants his family to be left alone. It's just his problem. His family didn't do anything wrong. Why should they suffer? Tiger's decision to listen to the serpent, is why. Whether the papparazzi follow his kids, and write stories about his wife or not, his family is suffering now. The Bible says, the pleasures of sin are but for a season. His season is over. 'No pleasure now.

I'm not ragging on Tiger...we've all been our own worst enemy. We have, at one time or another,been ashamed of ourselves, or caught ourselves doing what we said we'd never do. We are all human beings and left to our own devices...are pathetic. Even the strongest-willed of our own species has created his/her own hell, at some time.

So what now?

Can his family be reconciled? Sure. Adam and Eve were reconciled to God.
God loved them - even though they chose to walk away from His love and His blessings. They walked out from under His protection. Tiger chose to do the same. There is forgiveness and restoration available for him just as there was for Adam and Eve.

 Adam and Eve were ashamed of their nakedness and tried to cover themselves. What did God do? Did He ridicule them for hurting and betraying Him? Did He disown them? No, He clothed them in His love.

Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebekah...all through history, God has blessed His people. It doesn't mean they never made mistakes or caused scandals in their own lives. But, if they turned to Him, God forgave and blessed them.

He has a better plan. That's why He sent His Son, Jesus.

Is there hope for us? For Tiger? Of course there is. Jesus came so that we could have life and that more abundantly. All we need to do is go to Him! Just as we are. He will clean us up. He will cover us with His love.