My all together perfect wedding day

Weddings...

Ahhh, I know how they can be.
The planning can be trying..downright difficult, filled with flub-ups and downs.
The wedding may consist of mistakes only the wedding party knows about.

But, then there's the wedding....
the perfect wedding!

Yes...I'm going to share....
My all together perfect wedding day!


I had waited all my life for this day.

I looked in the mirror and thought,
yes. This is it.
My dress was beautiful, white, flowing...simple but elegant.
My floor-length veil was in place with a wreath of tiny crystals.

I was ready.

As I made my way to the foyer, I lifted my bouquet of
red  and white roses and took a deep breath of the sweetness
one more time.

"This is it," the small voice whispered in my heart.
Yes, it is. I whispered to myself.
I had never been so sure of anything in my life.

I stepped into the church and was overcome with
the love and beauty around me.
Candleabra lit up the platform...candles were lit at every pew...with white flowing
tull draped from pew to pew.

It was like a dream.
It was my dream.

Only it was real.
It had come true.
All of it.

He was there.
The one who loved me most.
The one who knew me best.
He wanted to share his life with me.

He looked at me with the look that said,
'It's you. Yes, it's you...and how I love you."

The music started and I began the slow waltz down the aisle -
the white runner
sprinkled with red and white rose petals.

This was my day.
I was beautiful.
I was loved.

It was perfect.

When I reached the altar, he took my hand.
He looked into my eyes and said,
"Forever. I love you. Forever."
I looked into his eyes, the love of my life.
This was our day.
The day we had planned and looked forward to.
It was so right.
"I love you, too. Forever," I whispered to him.

We stood, facing each other...holding hands,
smiling and gazing into each other's eyes.

"I do...forever, and ever, my Love," he whispered to me.
"I do...forever, and ever, my Love," I whispered with all my heart.

I blinked.

Then, I woke up.
I was so disappointed.
It all looked so real.
I rubbed my eyes and lay rolled up in my blankets.
I wanted to cry.
I had never experienced anything so perfect...
so absolutely, beautifully, flawless.

"Shhh," I heard.
"It's ok. Really,"

"It is real," the Voice spoke in my heart.
"You are My bride.
You are beautiful.
You are the love of my life.
I will meet you.
I will.
Be strong, my Love.
I am preparing.
I can't wait.
I will come.
We will meet, face to face.

And I do.
I love you...
forever and
forever.
You are
the love of My life."

I've Been Everywhere Man

Where have I been.

I've been everywhere, man. Oh Yeah, I've been everywhere.
Like Johnny Cash sang, "Crossed the desert's bare, man. I've breathed the mountain air, man.
I've been everywhere."

I cannot say I have been everywhere, man;
but, this summer I feel like I've traveled the desert's bare.
The desert.
It is not fun. Sometimes, the heat is unbearable! It is uncomfortable. It can be a difficult walk. The desert may seem a little extreme and perhaps it is; but, it seemed a good analogy of those times...

Times when feelings want to get in the way... when I've had to say...
"Ok, Lord. I don't understand; but, I trust You."
The desert.

Sometimes things are difficult.
Sometimes things happen.
It's the world we live in.
No doubt about that.


My road this summer...
Dealing with the death of a friend...difficult.
Dehydration is not a joke...how could I "forget" to drink enough water?
Misunderstanding from someone I considered a friend...sad.
Listening to the news, thinking about a country founded on God's Word..desperate prayers to an all-knowing God.
That desert feeling of wandering aimlessly, when I have no doubt God has a plan.
Yet, sometimes feeling (there's that word) frustrated at not seeing it clearly, NOW!

Even though I've walked the desert bare, man, I've also 'breathed the mountain air, man.'
That's the thing about walking with my Shepherd.
He leads me along still waters and restores my soul.

There is nothing more theraupeutic than a trip to the Rocky Mountains;breathing
in fresh mountain air...gazing at the majestic peaks and sighing
at the magnificence of our God the Creator.

I had some wonderful experiences this summer.
'Been blessed to have two of my sons home for one more summer.
Had visits from my daughter, her husband and my oldest son, his girlfriend and her sweet three year old.
-Watched "Despicable Me" with my favorite twin 18 year olds - in 3D!
Shared wonderful times with writer friends at the Broadmoor
Shared sweet visits with my girlfriends.
Sat in the quiet, and watched meteor showers with my wonderful husband.
Campaigned for a friend and shared her victory.
The list could go on...

When I look at all the good things, I can see so clearly. . .
It is the everyday things that bless. It is the people in our lives...the air we breathe; the time we share.
Thank You, Jesus; Sweet Jesus.
He makes all things new again.
Every morning.
Great is His faithfulness.

time for a shoot out

The Woman had this invisible 'fat, ugly' doll.
Fat Ugly Doll followed her everywhere.
She lay in bed at night thinking about Fat Ugly Doll. When she woke up she didn't want to look in the mirror because all she saw was Fat Ugly Doll.
She didn't like to go out in public because of Fat Ugly Doll. She thought everyone saw this big doll when they looked at her.

When her husband came home, she greeted him, hoping he wouldn't notice. She went to bed before he did,trying to hide Fat Ugly Doll; but when he came to bed, she just knew all he saw was Fat Ugly.

Actually, Woman tried, several times to get Fat Ugly Doll to move out, but Fat would cry and throw fits. Sometimes it appeared that Ugly really had left. The woman would be elated, only to find her hiding in the closet of clothes that didn't fit...or in the cupboard behind the cereal. Fat Ugly Doll could be a whiner, a diner, a charmer, a tormentor, and a bully.
What was Woman going to do...She had tried every trick in the book. But, Fat Ugly Doll would not buy into any of it. She stayed and made Woman's life miserable.

"Fat Ugly Doll!" Woman screamed one day. "I've had enough! I can't take this anymore. You have to leave. This is it." Woman sat and looked at herself - Fat was right there, as usual.

There had to be a way to be rid of the ugliness once and for all.

Then, Woman remembered an old friend. He said she should call if she ever needed him. If ever there was a time, this was it.
He came right over.
He said, "I have just the thing to get rid of them. Fat Ugly Dolls used to torment me, too."
He pulled out his laser Lord of Light/Sword of the Spirit/Word of God, and spoke of the blood of Jesus and he piereced Fat Ugly Doll with his laser. She deflated slowly, shriveling up till she was flat on the floor....like a pancake.

Woman was set free.  She whirled and twirled and danced for joy.
"Free at last!"

Now, Woman wears what she wants, goes where she will, visits, shares her talents with no fear, laughs, sleeps well; and...most of all, when she looks in the mirror she can finally see the beautiful person she has always been - no Fat Ugly Doll standing in her way, whispering lies in her ear.

Fat Ugly Dolls are real. We've all had one or more....at one time or another, or now and always.
They barge in on life when we least expect it and plan on staying forever...to make us feel less than we are.
They may come as insecurity, fear, timidity or because of something horrible that has happened.

One may be speaking right now. "You are fat. You are ugly." Or maybe, "You are not accepted. You will never be successful."  "Nobody really loves you." "You've made so many stupid decisions you might as well just 'fahgetaboutit'.

Fat Ugly Dolls don't have anything good to say. They try to convince us that we need them. We can't survive without them...even though they abuse us in one way or another, we have to keep them...we have no choice. Anyway, that's what they say...but, that's a lie.

I'm learning...I don't have to keep the Fat Ugly Doll around. I have the weapons of Life at my disposal.

Look in the mirror and smile. Take the laser of the Lord and pierce the deflatable heart that constantly taunts.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Take time for you.
Get to know the wonderful person you were created to be.
Focus on the road of life God has put before you.
Help yourself to the goodness in His Word that tells the love story of God's great love for you.

Shoot the fat ugly doll.
It doesn't belong to you.

My quiver is full

Keeping it real...
Sometimes it is not so easy. I like to keep things to myself in a tightly wound ball of 'everything-is-ok'.
I'm good at that.
Frankly, I'm not all that 'ok' right now.
My son is going in for surgery in a few days. 

It is something that has been scheduled for quite some time - it isn't a surprise.
My son...well, he is playing the piano as I write. He is a wonderful composer.
He rushes to the family room to watch his favorite team, the Rockies beat the Cardinals. Woo Hoo!
He is at peace and isn't concerned.

Actually, I have been in prayer about the surgery for a while.
I'm not fearful.
I know we serve a great God and He will be with my son.

It is just the idea of knowing my child is going 'under the knife'. He will experience discomfort and will not be having a great time. Yes, he's my child -a little older than a teen-ager; but the age doesn't matter - a child is always a child to the parent.

He laughs and says, "It'll be like fasting for forty days, Mom." 'Very true. He will be on a liquid diet for six weeks.

Jesus fasted and prayed for forty days in the wilderness.
Forty days...six weeks...
'Funny that he is the one who thought of it.

I marvel at my son's faith. He is a testimony to me right now.

As a mom, I don't want my children to go through 'stuff'. I want things to go well with them. It hurts when they have to go through 'stuff'.
Yet, I know.
I know.

It's life. It's how we all grow.
All of us. . .

The good thing.....I know Who I trust. I know Who my children trust.
Yes,
I know that God's grace is sufficient.
I know He has never failed us.
I know.
There is great comfort in His Word.
I know.
I read the Psalms. 
He is my shepherd. I shall not want for anything-I have peace of mind in troubled times; rest instead of worry. I have assurance that He is with my children when I cannot be. He is all they need in their times of need, just as He is all I need.

I am encouraged knowing my son is confident in His Savior, Jesus Christ.
What more could I want.

Psalms 127:35 says, "Sons are a heritage of the Lord, a reward from Him."(New International Version). I like The Message - "Don't you see that children are God's best gift? the fruit of the womb. His generous legacy?" Psalm 127:35.

'Know what?
I am ok.
I am humbled.
I am a blessed mom.
I see the fruit of the Lord in my children.
Selah.

Faith of our Fathers

Father's Day.
A day to honor fathers.
Today, the role of a father is sometimes misunderstood. But, God's plan, is explained in Ephesians 6:4.
"Fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them.
Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master." (The Message)
The father is to be the loving head of his family - the leader, the protector and provider -
a man walking close to God.

For centuries we have godly examples of the faith of our fathers.

In the Old Testament, Abraham is called the father of many nations. God spoke to Abraham and told him to pack up his family and move. God led him and his family to the promised land - Canaan. Abraham and his family were blessed abundantly for their obedience to God.

In the New Testament, a good example of a godly father, was Joseph. He was chosen by God, to be Jesus' earthly father. He was a man of faith, who listened to God. He kept his family safe, when Herod wanted to kill all male babies because he heard the Messiah had been born. Even though we don't read a lot about Joseph, we know he was a man who loved Jesus and spent time with him; after all, Jesus was known as the carpenter's son.

Early history of our country is filled with stories of our forefathers who left us a legacy of tradition and values. Many were like Abraham. They packed up their families and came to a new land - a land of promise, where they could worship God freely. Many of our forefathers believed in a land established on the Word of God, so much, they were willing to die - and many did. Today, many fathers are still dying for their belief in our country as a nation under God.

The faith that carries on today is rich and filled with promise. The fathers of old went through difficult, often severe times; but they held onto the faith that Jesus is Lord. His Word is true and He abides with us, no matter what. They were strong in the Lord and the power of His might. That faith is alive in our fathers today.

We are thankful for fathers who are willing to live the faith that endures and is victorious through Chrsit. We are thankful for fathers who love us and are willing to sacrifice and pass on to us the reality of a living God who is faithful.

Like the old song says, "Faith of our fathers! Living still. In spite of dungeon, fire and sword: Oh how our hearts beat high with joy, Whene'er we hear that glorious word! Faith of our fathers! Holy faith! We will be true to thee till death!"

It's a doggone good day

Every morning I go through my to do list.

To do...what to do...what to do first?

I decided to mow our overgrown lawn, even though I really wanted to go to the gym. 'Better mow while it's still cool,I thought.
Mowing is good for my soul. I enjoy the outdoors. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment when I see the lines of freshly mowed grass.
I pray, reflect and listen to my ipod.
This will be good, I thought. It's been a difficult week and even though the 'elephant' (as my friend Lori calls that feeling) of loss (the heaven home going of a friend) is still in my heart, there is a smile.

I felt better today.

I was at peace...I was ready to spend my quiet time mowing.

The dogs followed me to the garage to get the mower.
I was already in 'reflection' mode and was looking forward to my 'mow' time.

Griz ran into the middle of the yard.....he had to do his business.
Ok.
I came inside and got a bag...cleaned up his mess.
I returned to the mower, ready to begin.

Kaylee ran into the yard....
You guessed it.
So, I came back inside and got another bag.

Ok...now I can begin, I thought.
I went to the mower - it wouldn't start.

The dogs started chasing each other in circles right where I would be mowing, if I could get the mower started.

I stopped trying to start the mower for a minute; reviewed the situation and started to laugh.

I put the dogs inside.
I thanked the Lord for His peace. His joy. For humorous situations.
I did grumble a little when I picked up the first 'pile' - as if Griz thought, 'Aha! She's going to mow...now's my chance to poop.'
When Kaylee followed suite, I had to reflect and see the humor.

So the mower won't start.

Big deal.

I'll go out and try again in a little bit.

It's all good. . .. I thank the Lord for giving me a few chuckles.

It's going to be a good day.

The bitter not better

Me?
Did I hear You right?
Yes, He was talking to me.
It was that still small voice, but it came through loud and clear.
And it was in King James. "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled."

The Message says it this way: "Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time."
Ahem.
He had my attention.

I lay in bed (I woke up to that  still small voice...that verse running through my mind) thinking - Wow, God. Have I allowed bitterness in my heart somewhere? (yes, I do talk to God that way).
I asked Him to show me where it started, since it wasn't a sermon where I could look around and say, "Hmmm..wonder who that could be."
He was speaking directly to me.

God is so faithful.
I thought of little things that someone said  that rubbed me the wrong way. 'Probably untintentional..we humans are that way...saying things without thinking. But I resented it.
I thought back a little...there was the time, I was sure I was being left out, ignored - and it hurt.
Resntment? Bitterness? Little things just seemed to bother me, out of nowhere (of course, to me, it was somewhere).
Bitterness blinds. Like a weed, it chokes out the beauty around, if it can. 
It starts out a seed, but if not caught in time, it grows and spreads.

God is my Father.
I am His child.
Sometimes He has to pull the slack in on me...reign me in...sit me down
in time-out, so I will listen.
Ouch.
But, I needed it - a 'heart' adjustment.
Whew. 

'Ever had one of those tiny stickers in your finger? It hurts for a while, then kind of goes away. You forget about it, till it hurts again. But, if you don't get it out, it continues to fester..at some point causing infection. That's how a little bitterness in the heart can be...unnoticeable at first...but then.....Well, you get the picture.

How I need my Savior.
I need Him all the time.

Do you know what I mean?

My Father; I am humble before Your throne. I am ever so grateful that I have access to Your throne through Jesus and because of His blood. I thank You that You love me so much, that You are not willing that I should wander. If You seem far away, Lord, I know it's not You. It's me. I thank You for speaking to me by Your Word and Holy Spirit. Thank You for forgiving me and rstoring me by Your grace. Hallelujah! I am free to love. I am free to give. Thank You for joy and peace restored.
I love You, Lord.
In Jesus' name.
Amen.