Sunday, October 31, 2010

Life's this way.

"I'm loving my life." She smiled at me.

"But, this is how it happened." She smiled again.
We sat on the park bench and
she told me
her story:

"We met in college.
Both with dreams and bright futures.
Scholarships and ability.
I was swept away.
He was charming, good-looking and very thoughtful.
He sent me flowers and bought me gifts.
Such a gentleman.
He seemed to good to be true.
He said he loved me.

I believed him.

Then, it happened...

Nice girls don't get pregnant.
But, I did.

Impossible.
The doctor said sometimes those things happen.
A little close is too close.

I called him, knowing he would be there for me.
He was.

He came right over.

He wondered what people would think. After all, he was a star quarterback,
and had plans for his future. He had a scholarship to maintain.
I didn't understand.
I was a cheerleader, and had plans for my future, too.
So what..
How could any of that matter.

We were going to have a baby.

He looked at me.
'Make it easy on us.
Get an abortion.'

All of a sudden, I didn't know him at all.
Abortion had not entered my mind.
No, I hadn't considered abortion.
Nor would I.

He left.
I cried.
He didn't come back.

I had my baby, and I never looked back.
Evidentally, he didn't either.
But, it's ok."

A little boy came bounding to his mommy, holding a pink rose.
"Look, Mommy...for you."
The beautiful rose bush stood against the playground fence.
How could he resist.

I smiled at the young mom as she sat her little boy on her lap.
His arms around her neck, he placed his chubby little hands on her face.
"I love you, Mommy."

Tears welled up as I watched the two.
"You did the right thing," I touched her hand, his little head.
"I know," she smiled.

I got up and continued on my walk.
The young mom had something the world could never take away.

Little hands might have never touched her face,
had she made it easy for 'us' as the young man had said.

But, she didn't.

Maybe it was unplanned, a surprise.

Yet,
No baby is a mistake.

I got up and walked away.
I understood,
very well.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

The Skater

There was no place I 'd rather be than the skating rink.

It's true...

I stood on my daddy's skates as he glided around the rink, when I was three.
I was his princess and I was on top of the world.
My daddy could've been an olympic figure skater...he was an awesome skater.

So, I learned to skate when I was three, skated in the middle of the rink with other beginners, and enjoyed watching my parents as they danced on their skates.

I clicked and clacked down the sidewalk in my green skates; waiting for the day I would be old enough to go to the skating rink by myself.

When I was probably in the sixth grade, the day came and I flung my skates (white, adult skates) over my shoulder and entered the skating rink, alone.

I loved the exhilarated feeling of the wheels whirring beneath my feet, as I raced around the curves on the shiny floor.
I loved feeling my hair fly as I sped past other skaters.
I loved the music, and the sound of other skates whirling around me.
I was at home.

When I was skating I was enough.
More than enough...
I was never afraid to go by myself. I knew I'd see friends there - or I'd make new ones.
I was sure of myself.

At one point, the lights in the rink were turned down low, and a colored ball would light up and flash different colors.
That meant it was couple skating time.

I wasn't afraid of being left out.
I would be asked to skate.
I wasn't afraid of falling and feeling stupid.

What confidence!

I didn't think about being too ugly, or too spindly (I was a skinny kid).
I was having fun.
It was enough.
I was enough.

I remember.
I marvel at that young girl.


What happened to the
"I'm enough" girl.
Where did she go.

I know what happened.

The skating rink closed.

I grew up.

Life happened, with disappointment and broken dreams and several broken hearts.

I wasn't enough anymore.
I lost my confidence.
I didn't believe in me anymore.

But, guess what.
Something happened.
Life has a way of happening.

I'm glad.

I got a brand new pair of roller skates.

I'm learning, from my Father in heaven who specializes in broken people,
that I am enough.

He's teaching me the skate of life...
I'm His princess.

He lets me stand on His skates as He teaches me how to skate
with confidence.
Sometimes, we skate together...side by side.

What a wonderful thing,
as I learn more and more of His unfailing love,
I know I am enough.

I can feel my hair flying back as I whiz around the corners, twirling, skating, dancing.
It is enough, because He is enough.
And, to Him, I am enough,

just because He said so.

Monday, October 4, 2010

My all together perfect wedding day

Weddings...

Ahhh, I know how they can be.
The planning can be trying..downright difficult, filled with flub-ups and downs.
The wedding may consist of mistakes only the wedding party knows about.

But, then there's the wedding....
the perfect wedding!

Yes...I'm going to share....
My all together perfect wedding day!


I had waited all my life for this day.

I looked in the mirror and thought,
yes. This is it.
My dress was beautiful, white, flowing...simple but elegant.
My floor-length veil was in place with a wreath of tiny crystals.

I was ready.

As I made my way to the foyer, I lifted my bouquet of
red  and white roses and took a deep breath of the sweetness
one more time.

"This is it," the small voice whispered in my heart.
Yes, it is. I whispered to myself.
I had never been so sure of anything in my life.

I stepped into the church and was overcome with
the love and beauty around me.
Candleabra lit up the platform...candles were lit at every pew...with white flowing
tull draped from pew to pew.

It was like a dream.
It was my dream.

Only it was real.
It had come true.
All of it.

He was there.
The one who loved me most.
The one who knew me best.
He wanted to share his life with me.

He looked at me with the look that said,
'It's you. Yes, it's you...and how I love you."

The music started and I began the slow waltz down the aisle -
the white runner
sprinkled with red and white rose petals.

This was my day.
I was beautiful.
I was loved.

It was perfect.

When I reached the altar, he took my hand.
He looked into my eyes and said,
"Forever. I love you. Forever."
I looked into his eyes, the love of my life.
This was our day.
The day we had planned and looked forward to.
It was so right.
"I love you, too. Forever," I whispered to him.

We stood, facing each other...holding hands,
smiling and gazing into each other's eyes.

"I do...forever, and ever, my Love," he whispered to me.
"I do...forever, and ever, my Love," I whispered with all my heart.

I blinked.

Then, I woke up.
I was so disappointed.
It all looked so real.
I rubbed my eyes and lay rolled up in my blankets.
I wanted to cry.
I had never experienced anything so perfect...
so absolutely, beautifully, flawless.

"Shhh," I heard.
"It's ok. Really,"

"It is real," the Voice spoke in my heart.
"You are My bride.
You are beautiful.
You are the love of my life.
I will meet you.
I will.
Be strong, my Love.
I am preparing.
I can't wait.
I will come.
We will meet, face to face.

And I do.
I love you...
forever and
forever.
You are
the love of My life."