It is fitting that the first Christmas without Caleb, a message to my heart would come through lyrics of an old Christmas carol. You see, Christmas time, Christmas carols have always been an important part of our lives.
That first Christmas,
it seemed everywhere I went, one song stood out - whether in a store, or on the radio at home or in my vehicle.
The lyrics are so familiar, but the message seemed to speak to me personally - from/about Caleb.
Silent Night
Silent Night, Holy Night,
All is calm, all is bright.
Round yon Virgin, Mother and child,
Holy infant, so tender and mild.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent night, holy night - I could imagine that night so long ago, the world was at rest, all were sleeping except for the shepherds who felt a hushed, holy, unspeakable presence. Something was different about that night. Heaven had come to earth.
The message - to remember the wonderful presence of that very night is mine, a hushed, sweet holiness from heaven.
"Remember this Mom....it is always yours."
All is calm, all is bright - My son is living in a place where all is calm, serene, peaceful and joyous,
where there is brightness of celebration, love and a completeness only those who are there know.
The message - remember beyond this world there is an eternity, filled with peace, goodness, love and wonderous joy.
"I'm ok Mom."
Round yon Virgin, mother and child, holy infant so tender and mild - Thoughts of how Mary must have felt as she held Jesus for the first time, that awesome sense of love that a mother feels for her child, that unspeakable, glorious love.
The message - Ah, the memories of holding Caleb, so tiny, soft and innocent - such a miraculous, tender gift of life.
"I'm always with you, Mom. I will always be that gift in your life. I know you love me so very, very much."
Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace. - I know where Caleb is. He is living in heavenly peace. He is free from the confines of this world, the fallibility of this earth, more alive now that he is in a place of heavenly perfection, of heavenly peace.
The message - Because I know where Caleb is, that he is safe in that perfect place, I can have peace, even in the midst of missing him so much.
"Sleep in heavenly peace, Mom....let heaven bring you peace. Let it be your peace.
I love you."
I have always loved Silent Night, but now - every time I hear it, it is for me, for my heart.
It is my heavenly lullaby.
And yes - it still jumps out wherever I am. The message still fills me with hope - even through the tears.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
Sleep in heavenly peace.
