The Future is ours Forever

A few days after Caleb went to heaven I remember this ....

The thought that my son wasn't here anymore was more than I could handle.
Tears streamed down my face.
Sobs escaped through the tightness in my throat.
My heart was crushed.
My son would not be coming home.
I wouldn't be able to see him.

Our lifetime together flashed through my mind.
I could see his face as he laughed and lit up any room.
I could hear his laughter, and his stories.
A blur of memories of my little baby, my busy little boy  who was always on an adventure, flashed through any mind.
Visions of my son who grew to be a fine young man
who loved his Savior, Jesus, who loved his family and his country,
was gone.
How could this be?
How was I going to go on?
It was more than I could bear.

While pictures of my dear son continued to flash through my thoughts,
a small voice whispered in my heart.
Even though I was still crushed.
Even though I continued to cry,
the words I heard
gave me comfort.

I spoke the words aloud.
I wrote them on my message board.

"Caleb is not in my past. He is in my future."

Caleb is not a memory in my past.
He is in the memories, yes.
He is in the memories with all my children.

But, he is not a memory.
He is real.
He may not be here in this world where I can touch him,
see him or talk to him,
but he is very real - just like my other children who do live on this earth.
He is gone from here, but
not for long.
Oh, it seems long to me - make no mistake about that.
But, in the scheme of things, in the light of eternity,
the 'now', is not forever.hat
"This present suffering is nothing compared to the glory that is set before us." ( Romans 8:18)


He is in my future.
I will see him again.
I look forward to that.
It is my certain hope.



The message I wrote on my message board is still there.
It has faded with time,
but I cannot/will not erase it.
It was my lifeline.
Every time I see that message, I remember
that moment.
A heavenly light shone in the darkness.
A whisper from heaven lifted my broken heart and gave me
the hope I needed to take the next breath.

Caleb is not in my past,
he is in my future.

I have hope.
Eternity is ours.

I love you Caleb.
I will see you again -
one fine day.


©DianeHomm.July 2020

green pastures: Flag Day 2020

green pastures: Flag Day 2020: I know it's been a while since I have included you on my journey. Thank you for being patient.  Today is Flag Day. I've bee...

Flag Day 2020

I know it's been a while since I have included you on my journey.

Thank you for being patient. 

Today is Flag Day.
I've been thinking of Caleb.
He was so funny, except when it came to his country.
Then, he was serious.
I remember the big American flag that hung in his bedroom for lots of years.
He woke up and went to bed each night, looking up at that flag.
Sometimes, I wonder what he thought about when he'd look at that flag as he grew up...
then again - I think I know.
After he enlisted in the Marines the flag remained in his room.
It was years later, that I took the flag down - when I was painting.
I wish now that I had put it back.
Maybe I packed the flag away in a tote.
I hope I did.

I love our flag, and what it stands for.
It has always meant a lot to me.
Now that flag holds a part of my heart.
It is a flag my son honored.
Yes, it is the flag that hung in his room (and Caleb didn't just have 'stuff'
for decoration.)
It is the flag he respected as a Marine.

It was the flag that covered his body at the scene of his death.
It was the flag that I was handed at his service.
It is the flag that is flown in his honor at different events.
It is the flag his Recon brothers have carried as they finish the Recon Challenge... running in carrying his name...
(the photo on this blog - Chris and Mark.)

Flag Day.
It's history continues in the life of our country.
I love seeing this flag, Old Glory, flying on the streets of our little community.
America.
Freedom.
I am thankful I live here where it is still the land of the free
because of the brave.

I choose to stand and honor this flag - MY flag.
It is the flag of freedom.
It is the flag that stands for hope.
It is the flag that has withstood torment, and wars, and hatred.

I believe in what this flag stands for.
I stand for the red, white and blue.
I will stand and believe.
Thousands of lives have bled and died for the freedom that flag stands for.

I am proud to be an American.
I am blessed to be able to fly MY flag.
I am humbled to have a son who gave the ultimate sacrifice for what that flag stands for.

Flag Day,
Thank you Caleb.
Thank you for always being true to the red, white and blue.
I will stand.
I love you.
Yes - it is
Stars and Stripes Forever.

@dianehomm.june2020