I had seen my Master. I beheld the wounds, the radiance of his being, the sound of his voice.
I had run through the city shouting and telling everyone I saw, about my risen Messiah.
Many looked at me like I had lost my mind. Pharisees shook their heads. Roman soldiers snickered.
I didn't care. I had seen him! Some rejoiced with me, and for that I was glad.
It was glorious.
That night as I lay on my mat I could not sleep. This time it was not despair that kept me awake. It was knowing I had witnessed the greatest miracle in history. I had seen Jesus - the man who had been betrayed, mocked, spat on and beaten - the man who hung on the cruel cross and cried out in agony.
To think I had seen this man placed in the tomb, watched the stone rolled over the opening, and witnessed the guards ready to kill anyone who came near.
It was incredible that this man, Jesus, had risen from the dead! I saw him! He knew me, and spoke to me! He had risen, just as he said!
I woke up early, to a bright sunlit day. I could hardly wait to go out, to see the others.
"They're fishing," Mary told me.
"Fishing? What about Jesus?"
"Some saw him, others didn't. This morning some are thinking it was just a ghost. So, they went fishing."
"How about you, Mary," I asked.
"I know my Master. I know I saw him, and he is alive. Whether I see him again, it won't change anything. I know what I know. I saw my Messiah, and he spoke to me." She was radiant with peace and joy.
I stood in the doorway. "I believe. I know I saw him, too. I know it was Jesus."
"Go see them where they usually fish. They will be glad to see you."
I doubted her words, but I went.
I could see them on shore, wrestling with a tangled net.
It was like old days.
They were shouting at each other.
"I told you to listen to me!"
"Why should I listen to you? We didn't catch anything throwing the net where you suggested."
I wanted to turn back, but one of them saw me.
"Hey! Come and help! Where have you been hiding?"
John walked up to me.
I had nothing to say. How could they not be talking about Jesus? Then, I heard them.
"Why should I listen to you? Not only did we not catch any fish, but you keep saying I saw a ghost. I tell you, I saw Jesus. He talked to me."
"There is no way."
"I saw him, too."
"You saw a ghost."
I stood in silence next to John, watching them try to untangle the net as they argued.
The wind came up, and waves rocked the boat.
"Great. Now, we will never catch anything. What are we going to do?"
"If Jesus was here, he'd know what we could do. He'd stop the wind. We'd have fish."
"But, he isn't," one of them said, as he threw down the net. He sunk down on the sand and put his head in his hands.
The longer I stood, the more frustrated I got. I was frustrated that they weren't all rejoicing. I was frustrated at the thought that those who hadn't seen him, thought Jesus was just a ghost, upset that those who did see him were doubting themselves. Was I fooling myself in thinking I had seen him? I was sure I wasn't. And yet...."
John put his hand on my shoulder. "Let's go. Let's go help them with the net."
I wanted to ask him if he believed, but I didn't want to know. I was hanging on to my memory of the Man who radiated and knew me. He was real, wasn't he?
"It's no use," one said. "We might as well just put the net back in the boat and go back."
"We can't go back empty-handed," John said, gritting his teeth.
"The wind is blowing, the water is rough, the net is so tangled we can't find an end. We are out of time for today. The sun is setting."
"Are you having trouble?" A fisherman walked along the sand, by the boat.
"You could say that." Frustrated voices echoed.
"Maybe I can help," he said as he walked toward the boat.
"I doubt it. We've been here all day with this net. The harder we try, the more tangled it gets. Who do you think you are, a magician?"
"No, not a magician, " he said.
He got ahold of the net and pulled one way, then another.
He looked at each man present, and smiled.
It is hard to describe what happened next, but I can say there was no more arguing. There was no more doubt.
A reverence came over each one of us and we fell to our knees and worshipped him.
We looked at him.
"Rabboni."
Copyright 2021 Diane Homm
