My friend, till then...

Sometimes when I think about her,
I see her quite clearly.
She's smiling that infectious smile.
I want to sit and talk.
I want to visit like we did.
I want to laugh with her again.

But, I can't.

Today I saw her green van for the first time
since she's been gone.
My heart leaped and dropped.


I can't believe she's really gone, I guess.
Some mornings I think I need to call her to see how she's doing through all this.

Then, I remember.
She's not going through all this.
For that I'm so thankful.

I'm certain she is with Jesus.
She has eternal perspective and isn't worried about a thing.
She knows this life will make way for eternity.
She know's it won't be long till she sees her children again.
It won't be long and we'll all be together again.
She knows that.

I drive by her house.
She lived in the same part of town.
It's on my way.
I still look that way.
I know I'm not going to see her, but I look anyway.
It's her house.
Memories live there now.

Lord, the pain of loss doesn't have a name.
Nothing can describe it.
I know we have hope for forever.
I'm anticipating that day.

Today it hurts beyond words.
The numbness of shock wearing off.

Marilyn -
Your van drove away without you today.
Reality made a dent in the depth of loss.
Maybe it seems strange that your van made me cry.
It was such a presence of your life - yours and Charles'.
To see it
made your absence so real.
Grief happens in such odd ways sometimes.

I can't say good-bye.
I know I'll see you again.
But, it sure is difficult here without you.

I always appreciated our friendship, our children talks, and
our Bible studies together.
We laughed about silly things and prayed about things in life that hurt.

Hey! You were my biggest blog fan.
You always read my 'stories' and had something positive to say.
It meant a lot to me.
I don't think you knew how much you encouraged me.

When I think of you, the verse that comes to mind is - 'In quietness and confidence shall be your strength'.
You were always a great example of God's love.
I admired your quietness and confidence.
Thank you so much.
I miss you Marilyn.

Till we meet again - oh wait -

P.S. There are many of us here who promise to pray for your children, and love them till you can see them again.
Oh, and by the way, I know you are a part of that cloud of witnesses cheering us on till we meet.
And then we will have the best time in forever with our Lord!

Love to you,
Diane