What I Learned From Tim Taylor or That Gift Doesn't Belong to Me!

"Piece of cake! It's so easy, anybody can do it."
"Ten minutes max!"
I believed her. All it needed were a few screws and wallah, the table would be put together.

I pulled the hundred and ten pound box out of the back of my mini van.
A few doors down, my neighbor friend watched, while her little children played in the yard.
I'm sure she wondered what in the world I was trying to do.
It was easy to see....the box was huge and heavy, and I was trying to manipulate it
very carefully...after all, there were a a dozen and a half tiles in the box.
I edged the flat box one way, then the other, till at last, I had it leaning against my vehicle.

I pushed it and steered it, till I got to the backyard.
I gently lay it on the grass and opened the box, where my next feat was to pull the pieces out.
The whole thing was held together with a mile of wide clear packing tape and enough bubble wrap to go around my house at least twice.
I got the legs untaped/untangled.
The tiles were tied together in place on the table with nice brown ribbon. So, I whacked each ribbon with my scissors, and stacked the tiles till I was ready for them.
At last!
I could put the screws in and be done with it.

Right.

The legs were curved. The screws didn't go straight,  no matter what I did. I knew they had to be faulty.
The legs wobbled and flopped
I tried to get the middle section that went under the table situated, so I could try to screw it in the wobbly legs. I was sure that would remedy the problem.
Somehow, I got tangled up in the middle section and the legs.

I looked at my clock - one hour.

The lady said ten minutes!!

I tried a few more times, determined not to give up.

Finally, I surrendered with strapping tape stuck to my clothes, my body contorted trying to hold the legs and the table together, while I held a three inch allen wrench and watched the screws roll away.

The table was too advanced for my mechanical skills.

I called the store.
The lady said she'd send their 'man' right over.
He drove up.
My day immediately got better.

We walked to the backyard where he surveyed my sorry attempt at putting the table together.

Needless to say, he got it put together in no time.
He put the tiles in place.
Wallah - 'nothing to it.
The table looked great.

I smiled.
God gives us all different abilities, different gifts.

I admit...I'm all thumbs with an allen wrench, a screw driver, a hammer...
I can't get a screw to go in straight, or a nail in the wall without bending it.

I'll stick with music and writing.
That's more my thing.

Although...I'm sure there will come another time when someone will say, "It's easy," and I'll believe him/her.
I'll try using a saw or some other tool. (Did I ever tell you about sawing the bottom off the Christmas tree?)

'You know... I felt better after watching Tim the Tool Man Taylor.