I Can Because

I awaken to the darkness around me.
Like being covered with a heavy fleece blanket, I want to kick it off.


I wait a few minutes, and let the fleece of darkness settle in.
It is soft and comforting.
The world is not awake yet. There are no distractions.
My sobs lay silent on my pillow as I cry out to my Lord
with no words.
I want to say, "I can't."
I want to stop time, and go back to innocent days.
I want to cry out, and toss this blanket of darkness away,
but I know I can't.
My heart is wracked with chards of sorrow, and tomorrow looms ahead.
For now, I wrap up in this blanket and know that
even though I don't understand,
He does.


Lyrics of an old song pop into my mind -

"I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything's the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does..."
(written by Arthur Kent and Sylvia Dee, recorded in 1962

by Skeeter Davis.)

Some days  I wake up like that.

Then, after the sobbing subsides,

I get up, pet Griz and let him out.

By that time, sunlight is breaking through, like cool, clean sheets.

It's a fresh, new day, filled with unknowns.

I don't know what news each day will bring.

Today I hold tightly to my Father's hand.

He has all things in control.

It's not easy for me to just hold on.

I want to know the why's of his plans.

I want to uncover the reasons.

Yet, I know, no matter what each day brings

his grace is sufficient.

He has proven that to me over and over.

I like to say it this way -

his grace is as big as we need it to be.

It will be as big as we need it to be, when we need it,

and not before.

Like manna.

The people in Moses' day couldn't stuff manna in their pockets for later.

It would spoil, rot, and just was not edible for that late night snack.

However, they always had plenty for each day.

The next day, there was manna - enough for another day.

So it is with grace.

It isn't there before you need it.

It's always there in abundance just when you need it.

This I know.

My devotional this morning -

"The future is like a huge mountain looming in front of you....You don't know what will happen to day, much less tomorrow....But I promise that if  I ask you to climb that mountain, I will give you everything you need to reach the top....And I will be right by your side every step of the way."

For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go. (Psalm 91:11)

In your strength I can crush an army; with my God I can scale any wall. (Psalm 18:29)

For we live by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)

They will lift you up in their hands so you will not strike your foot against a stone. (Psalm 91:12)

(Jesus Calling by Sarah Young.)

He sees the future.

He holds my hand.

He makes the sun to shine and the stars to twinkle.

He is faithful.

I can because He is my rock, my strength.

I can because He is sufficient.

Selah.




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