3 AM There Is Light

Awake at 3am.
In a few hours I shall attend the Memorial Day service.
I battled with the thought of going, but I know I will

Difficult?
Very.

Anguish of heart, and yet,
I must go on.
I must.

When I woke up the words to an old song rang through my mind.
The cross before me,
the world behind me.
No turning back.
No turning back.

I have no choice in my life.
With the last ounce of piercing pain at being separated from my son,
I cry out.
Nail pierced hands hold me.
It is how it is for me.
With each gut-wrencing cry,
hope sustains me even though there is no adequate description of how it hurts.

The cross before me.
It is how it is in my life.

Gethsemane.
I see Him, crying out, but there was no turning back.
No.
There is no turning back.

As difficult as it is,
this is my call in life now.
The road is narrow but...
there is light ahead.
So it is.

He carries me...through shadows dark.
He sustains me...

Though none go with me, still I will follow.
I know there are others on this rugged road.
Hearts broken and lives changed forever.

With every ounce of my being.
He takes my broken heart and life and
comforts and sooths my soul.

There is no pretense here...what good would that do?
Though it is hard, where else could I go, but to You.

In the morning, when the sun shines through,
I will arise and praise you.
You are  my strength, my shield.
My strong tower on this battlefield.
I have no place,
But to your arms I run.
You are my God, the faithful One.