The Trip To Perris/ Those Difficult Beautiful Blessings

I told my my husband, "I don't think I'm ready for this."
"I don't think I'll go."
"You are most welcome to go, but I think I'll pass."
Of course, that isn't the way it turned out at all.
We were in California visiting some of our Recon family.


Chris had told me that when we visited he would take us to Perris.
We could visit the memorial to Caleb.


It is a beautiful memorial.
A lot of time and work went into this marvelous tribute to Caleb.
I'd seen it before it was mounted, and marveled at the talent, the skill
Garrett had put into designing and producing this multi-dimensional likeness of
his Recon Brother.
It was truly heartfelt.
I wanted to see the memorial.
I just didn't want to go to Perris.                            

Perris Sky-Diving .

where the accident happened.

The last place Caleb was before he went to heaven.

No thank you.

Not this trip.

(Again, that's not how it went.)

Before we visited Chris and his family, we went to lunch with Daniel and Martha, who recently returned from Okinawa.

These special people were friends of Caleb's.

During our lunch conversation Perris had come up, and I said I wasn't sure I was going to go.

So, after lunch, as we were saying our farewells

Daniel asked me if I was going to go.

I told him about my reluctance.

He told me it might help.

I'd be taking another step.

Somehow, his words sounded like something Caleb would say.

He doesn't know this - not only was it what he said, but there was a look in his eyes.
I always say the Recon guys are old souls.
They've gone through a lot, witnessed the ravages of war, and have lost so many brothers...
They may be young, but their eyes tell the story.
Daniel looked at me...deep, understanding eyes.
There was love, wisdom and sadness.

He said, "I haven't gone there yet, but I will."

I decided I'd go.


I climbed into Chris's Rubicon and held my breath.
The closer we got to Perris, the deeper breaths I took.
"I can do this."
I prayed.


We were on the same road Caleb drove that day...it was his last drive.

My mind wandered...

What was he thinking?
Then, I remembered.
He was singing.
A Recon mom recently shared with me that her son Brian had been riding with Caleb that day and they were
singing at the top of their lungs.
Isn't God good to remind me of that?

Yes, it was difficult when I saw the sign, "Perris."

It was difficult when we neared the training facility.
But, I was there.


I saw the place Caleb should have landed, and in the distance, the field where he did land.
I saw the plane he and his brothers were in.
I saw the bench he sat on.
It was all so bittersweet.

There were tears, but I was there with him, visiting a piece of his life, if that makes any sense.

I loved the memorial.
It is amazing, and stands in front of the flagpole, beside the main building.
Very fitting.
The location was not what I thought it would be.

I thought there may be a trailer and a hangar, but it isn't like that at all.

This is a nice sized facility.
There were several buildings, shops, a restaurant, and a swimming pool.


I couldn't think of what happened there that last day without thinking about how much Caleb loved sky-diving.
That is when it happened.

I looked up and the sky was filled with parachutes of all colors.

It was breathtaking, and I've never seen anything like it....about a hundred jumpers.
Caleb sent a special show for us - for me.


There were lots of tears, but I had to smile as I watched (something I hadn't been able to do) as the skydivers went from tiny specks to a rainbow of colors as they floated gracefully to the ground.

There were over a hundred of them.

Daniel was right.

It was another step.

As I was looking through the pictures I took there, I noticed a saying

at the bottom of the Skydive Perris sign.

"Living Life Just A Little Larger Than Most."

Yes, that is my son.

That would be Caleb.

Selah.



Living Life Just A Little Larger Than Most.
I love you Caleb.