It's You

I look at your pictures.

I see your smile, and

the twinkle in your eyes.

I can hear your laugh.

Our conversations linger in the silence.

I can hear you say the funniest things.

I hear myself whisper,

"I love you my son."

Your reply,

"Love you too, Mom."

I don't know how I'm ever supposed to

get used to this.

Not being able to see you in person

is the hardest

thing ever.

The longing is so deep,

In the depths of my being

silent groans

fill my heart.

How can this be real?

Surely you are on a long deployment.

Any minute the phone will ring,

I will get a text,

the door will open.

"Surprise!"

Remember that Mother's Day when
you came home to surprise me?
That was the best surprise ever.


I miss you so much every day.
I tell myself you're really as near
as the next room.
You're only a breath away.
Even though I believe with all my heart
these things to be true,
it's not that easy.
Not easy for this small mind to understand.


Oh, it's not that I think I have to understand to believe.
I'm way past that.
I believe with all my heart.
I know with a knowing that has no explainable words.


Oh, child of mine....
grown man of integrity and never-ending smiles.
It's hard everyday, and yet,
I am blessed...
it's because of you that each step is a little easier


Your bigger than life, life
gives me nothing but joy.
You who went beyond what was expected...
Your life lends me so much to make it through each day.



I'm thankful.
I'm grateful for your life -
the blessing, the gift.


You.


You, my son.


I love you Caleb.